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The LaSalle Accessibility Advisory Committee
Disability Etiquette
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One universal rule is never to assume you know what assistance, if any, a disabled person requires. Ask if, and what, assistance may be needed.
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Treat a disabled person in the same manner and with the same respect and courtesy you would anyone else.
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Treat adults as adults.
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Do not make assumptions about the existence or absence of a disability; many people have disabilities that are not visible or immediately apparent.
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Use appropriate physical contact, such as a handshake, as you would with anyone else.
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A disabled individual may not introduce a personal assistant or human aid to communications (for example an interpreter). Take your lead from the person using their services.
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Assistance dogs (with a hearing or visually impaired person, a wheelchair user, or someone with epilepsy) are working dogs. They should not be treated as pets. They will, however, need water and somewhere to use as a toilet.
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Show patience. Let them set the pace when you walk and talk.
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When you are having a meal with someone who is disabled, don't offer to help cut their food. They will ask you or the waiter if they need help.
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Try to avoid embarrassing questions.
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Know where accessible (and other) toilets, drinking fountains, water coolers, and telephones are located.
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Let them bring up the subject if they want to talk about their disability.
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A disability needs to be fully accepted, or simply taken for granted between friends.
Disabled people want only to live independently with a proper amount of dignity. You can contribute to this by giving them the treatment that every individual deserves. Remember that a disabled person is just like everyone else, except for the certain limiting factors of his or her disability.
Meeting People with Speech Difficulties
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Be attentive, encouraging and patient, but not patronizing.
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Slowness or impaired speech does not reflect a person’s intelligence.
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Refrain from correcting or speaking for the person. Wait quietly while the person speaks and resist the temptation to finish sentences for them.
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If you need more information, break down your questions to deal with individual points that require short answers.
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If you do not understand what someone has said, ask the individual to say it again. Never pretend to understand when you do not.
Meeting People who are Blind or Visually Impaired
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Identify yourself clearly and introduce any other people present. Clearly indicate where people are located. (In work situations it’s important to do this at the start of a meeting.)
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If speaking in a group it is helpful to identify the name of the person you are speaking to. People should introduce themselves before speaking.
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To shake hands, say “Shall we shake hands?”
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Before offering assistance, ask the individual how you may help. If the person asks for assistance, ask, ”May I offer you an arm?” rather than taking an arm. This enables you to guide, rather than “propel” the person.
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Remember that most people with impaired vision do have some residual sight.
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If you are guiding someone, tell them when steps, stairs, ramps or other obstacles occur, and whether they are up or down.
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• When you are offering a seat, guide the person’s hand to the back or arm of the seat, and say this is what you are going to do.
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If leaving someone with a visual impairment in an area unfamiliar to them, inform the person you are leaving and connect them with someone else.
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When entering an unfamiliar area, give a brief description of the layout.
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Where someone might normally take notes, ask if they would like to tape the meeting or conversation.
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Provide written communication in an accessible format and, if possible, in the person’s preferred format, such as floppy disk, in large print, on audio-cassette or in Braille.
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Papers for meetings should be available in advance, including minutes and any papers to be tabled. (These can be emailed if the person concerned uses a computer which has speech related text or is linked to a Braille printer.)
Meeting People who are Deaf or Hearing Impaired
There are many different degrees and types of deafness and different ways for deaf people or those with hearing impairments to communicate. Some people who are profoundly deaf (usually from birth) use Sign Language as their first language.
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Try not to feel uncomfortable about communicating with a deaf or hearing impaired person, even if the communication feels awkward at first.
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If you do not understand what someone has said, ask him or her to repeat the sentence. Do not pretend you have understood when you have not.
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Ask the person to tell you how they prefer to communicate.
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Speak one at a time at meetings or gatherings. This enables lip-reading or interpreter communication.
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Written notes may help you present complicated information.
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Make sure a deaf person is looking at you before you begin speaking as he or she may need to lip-read. A gentle touch on the shoulder or arm will capture their attention.
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Keep background noise as low as possible.
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Check regularly that you have been understood.
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Stick to the agenda.
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Book interpreters or other support in advance.
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For interviews and meetings use a qualified Sign Language interpreter.
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If a sign language interpreter is present, speak to the deaf person, not the interpreter.
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Use an induction loop, enabling hearing impaired people to tune in their hearing aids directly to speakers and minimize background noise
The Hearing Impaired:
It's crucial to remember that patience plays a big part here.
Often it takes a little extra time to effectively communicate. You might have to repeat what it is you’re saying several times for them to understand you. You must not be impatient.
A deaf person is quite perceptive visually and will react to your visible signs of frustration and impatience. You must also take the time to accustom yourself to their manner of speech. It may sound strange at first; this is due to the hearing loss. If you are not understanding, don’t be afraid to ask them to slow down or to repeat what they have said.
The Blind:
When you want to help a blind person you see on the street, ask if your assistance is wanted. A blind person sometimes has the preference of getting along without any help. If they do want help, don’t grab their arm. You should instead offer your elbow. This positions you to walk a half –step ahead of them and they can follow your arm movement.
When dining with a blind person, you should again offer your elbow. They know how to seat themselves. Verbally outline how the table is set. When the food gets there, describe for them where the items are placed on the plate as far as the side dishes.
Talk with them in a regular manner. If you enter a room announce yourself be speaking ot introducing yourself. Excuse yourself when you are about to leave. If they have a Seeing Eye dog, don’t pet or bother the dog in any way. It is working and needs its concentration in order to perform its duties.
Meeting People who Lip-Read
Many people reinforce what they hear with lip-reading. A few deaf people with no hearing at all use this alone. This is a demanding and tiring skill.
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Look directly at the person you are speaking to.
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Do not speak with your back to a light source as this will put your lips in shadow.
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Make sure you are visible and in good lighting when talking.
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Speak clearly and at an even pace, but do not distort or exaggerate your lip movements.
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Stop talking if you must turn away.
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Do not use exaggerated gestures.
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Do not block your mouth with your hands, cigarettes or food.
Meeting People who are Deaf Blind
While deaf blindness is a combination of hearing and sight impairments, remember that deaf blind people are not always completely deaf or blind. In fact, most deaf blind people do have some residual hearing or sight or both. The advice provided in the sections on people with impaired vision or hearing may, therefore, also apply.
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A deaf blind person may speak to you but may not hear your voice. Let the person know you are there. Approach from the front and touch the person lightly on the arm or shoulder to attract their attention.
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Many deaf blind people need to be guided. Individuals will have their particular preference as to how they wish to be guided. Some deaf blind people experience poor balance.
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A deaf blind person may be supported by a communicator-guide, or interpreter. Remember to speak to the individual rather than their assistant.
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Do not grab or “propel” a person. Let them know you are offering to escort them by guiding their hand to your elbow.
Non Wheelchair User Etiquette
So how do you talk to someone in a wheelchair? Well, for a start, just to clear a few things up, you won't catch galloping wheelchair disease if you shake their hand when you first meet, nor will you turn into stone if you look them in the eye while talking to them. The best way to treat a disabled person is to ignore the wheelchair during a conversation and talk to the person rather than the disability.
In order to understand the most common mistakes made by able-bodied people when interacting with a disabled person, here are a few things to keep in mind.
When first meeting a disabled person, offer to shake their hand even if they appear to have limited use of their arms. This action of personal contact breaks the psychological barrier of non acceptance, and creates a warmer environment for communication.
If the disabled person is with a care giver, make sure you speak to the disabled person directly, and not over their heads to the care giver. It is very annoying and frustrating not to be included in a conversation which involves you.
When talking to someone in a wheelchair, make eye contact, talk normally in a non patronizing manner, and do not stare at their wheelchair. Also, if they have thin legs due to wasted muscle mass, or a pot belly due to paralysis of the abdominal muscles, try not to keep looking at these different aspects of the person’s body. Believe me, they will notice you looking!
If a conversation is expected to last longer than five minutes, find somewhere to sit down, or squat down to the wheelchair users eye level. This will reduce the wheelchair user’s neck from being strained during a conversation. A good way to experience how a wheelchair user feels during conversation while looking up, is to stare at the ceiling directly above you while sitting upright for five minutes. Your neck will soon start to ache!
While talking to a disabled person, try to talk as normally as possible, and do not apologize if you use an expression such as "I must be running along", or "See you later" if the person is partially sighted. These expressions are part of everyday language, and the apology will probably be more offensive or embarrassing than the expression.
To a wheelchair user, their wheelchair is part of their body and personal space should be treated as such. Do not rest your foot on their wheelchair, or touch their wheelchair unless you have been asked to. Never move a person’s wheelchair while they are in it unless you have been asked to, this can be very dangerous as people with a fine sense of balance can very easily fall out of their wheelchairs if not warned before being moved. If you think someone in a wheelchair needs assistance, always ask before taking any action.
Never slap a disabled person on the back or thigh as a goodwill gesture. This can cause the person to lose their balance, or trigger muscle spasms which can lead to the person falling out of their chair. Muscle spasms are uncontrollable movements in the body due to a damaged spinal cord and can be uncomfortable and painful.
If you are unsure of something about a disabled person, which is relevant to a current situation, ask the disabled person to clarify your query. It is in the disabled person’s interest to inform you of any special requirements they may have, or if they need any specialized assistive techniques. For example, most quadriplegics require some assistance when eating, whether it is just the cutting up of their food or help with feeding.
And last but not least, look beyond the chair, there is a person in front of you, not a disability.
Children and the Disabled:
Children too young to have developed a sense of tact may stop and stare at a disabled person or ask embarrassing or inappropriate questions at the wrong time. It's quite natural for a child to have curiosity, but they must learn that they should be considerate of other people's feelings. In this case, consideration does not mean that one should ignore the disabled person. To play pretend and overlook the disability is to make that person separate from the rest of society, which is something all disabled people are trying to avoid.
Children will stare, it's their nature. Talk to the child about disabled people, and help them to understand why people use wheelchairs. This helps prevent fearful and negative attitudes towards disabled people. I am used to children staring at my wheelchair; I see it as part of their education as they often do not know any better, unlike adults who should.
Another approach:
If you've been faced with a situation where you were unsure of the right thing to say or do, here are some tips to reduce your uneasiness and help you build new relationships:
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Use common sense and common courtesy. When meeting someone, it is appropriate to shake hands. Shake the left hand if the person cannot use the right or gently touch a shoulder.
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Act naturally -- walking on egg shells creates unnecessary tension and obstacles to relationship building. If you normally say "let's take a walk" don't change it to "roll" for a person who uses a wheelchair.
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Treat people with disabilities with respect. Honor spatial boundaries, never lean on a person's wheelchair. Always maintain eye contact and when possible, at eye level.
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Ask -- don't assume someone needs or wants help. Wait until the offer is accepted and always be sure to ask for instructions.
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Focus on abilities, not a person's disability. Don't say "he's confined to a wheelchair." Rather, stress the positive and say "he uses a wheelchair."
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Avoid negatively charged words or phrases such as "afflicted with" or "victim of." Instead, say "he has Muscular Dystrophy" or say "a person with Muscular Dystrophy."
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Avoid "labeling" an individual or group. View people with disabilities as individuals , not their disease or condition. Don't use references such as "the deaf" or "the disabled."
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Try to visualize things through the eyes and hearts of those with whom you wish to communicate. Offer praise, acknowledge feelings, try to accept points of view other than your own. It's important to remember that people with disabilities have the same hopes as the able bodied and have enormous desire for personal freedom.
By building relationships based on respect, common sense and common courtesy, you can help others become more free and independent.
Remember: Most disability etiquette guidelines seem to be predicated on a simple dictate: "Do not assume ..." They are written to address real and perceived shortcomings in how society as a whole treats people with disabilities.
"Do not assume ...":
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"... a person with a disability either wants or requires assistance."
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"... rejection of aid is meant as a personal affront."
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"... upon acceptance of your help, that you know, without being told, what service to perform."
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"... a person who appears to have one kind of disability also has others."
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"... a disabled person is dissatisfied with his/her quality of life, and is thus seeking pity."
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"... a person with a disability is easily offended."
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"... that a person who does not appear disabled, or who uses assistive devices intermittently instead of all of the time, is faking or imagining their disability."
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"... companions accompanying a person with a disability are there strictly to render service."
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"... a person with a disability will be receptive to personal questions, particularly in a public setting."
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"... that when a person with a disability is in a public place, that they are being escorted by a caretaker, instead of traveling alone."
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"Ask questions of the person with a disability, and not of his/her companions."
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"Hand grocery or other receipts to the individual who is paying the bill."
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"Only ask questions about the person's disability if you know that person."
People writing on specific disabilities have given rise to their own unique guidelines. Wheelchair users may, for example, include the rule, "do not grab the push handles of a person's wheelchair without permission." Visually impaired people often list a request to, "identify yourself when you enter a room."
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